Update 30.01.2022

zsh/plugins/chucknorris/README.md

@@ -1,8 +1,6 @@
 # chucknorris
 
-Chuck Norris fortunes plugin for oh-my-zsh. Perfectly suitable as MOTD.
-
-**Maintainers**: [apjanke](https://github.com/apjanke) [maff](https://github.com/maff)
+Chuck Norris fortunes plugin for Oh My Zsh. Perfectly suitable as MOTD.
 
 To use it add `chucknorris` to the plugins array in you zshrc file.
 

zsh/plugins/chucknorris/chucknorris.plugin.zsh

@@ -1,28 +1,24 @@
-# chucknorris: Chuck Norris fortunes
-
-# Automatically generate or update Chuck's compiled fortune data file
-# $0 must be used outside a local function. This variable name is unlikly to collide.
-CHUCKNORRIS_PLUGIN_DIR=${0:h}
-
 () {
-local DIR=$CHUCKNORRIS_PLUGIN_DIR/fortunes
-if [[ ! -f $DIR/chucknorris.dat ]] || [[ $DIR/chucknorris.dat -ot $DIR/chucknorris ]]; then
-  # For some reason, Cygwin puts strfile in /usr/sbin, which is not on the path by default
-  local strfile=strfile
-  if ! which strfile &>/dev/null && [[ -f /usr/sbin/strfile ]]; then
-    strfile=/usr/sbin/strfile
+  # %x: name of file containing code being executed
+  local fortunes_dir="${${(%):-%x}:h}/fortunes"
+
+  # Aliases
+  alias chuck="fortune -a $fortunes_dir"
+  alias chuck_cow="chuck | cowthink"
+
+  # Automatically generate or update Chuck's compiled fortune data file
+  if [[ "$fortunes_dir/chucknorris" -ot "$fortunes_dir/chucknorris.dat" ]]; then
+    return
   fi
-  if which $strfile &> /dev/null; then
-    $strfile $DIR/chucknorris $DIR/chucknorris.dat >/dev/null
-  else
+
+  # For some reason, Cygwin puts strfile in /usr/sbin, which is not on the path by default
+  local strfile="${commands[strfile]:-/usr/sbin/strfile}"
+  if [[ ! -x "$strfile" ]]; then
     echo "[oh-my-zsh] chucknorris depends on strfile, which is not installed" >&2
     echo "[oh-my-zsh] strfile is often provided as part of the 'fortune' package" >&2
+    return
   fi
-fi
 
-# Aliases
-alias chuck="fortune -a $DIR"
-alias chuck_cow="chuck | cowthink"
+  # Generate the compiled fortune data file
+  $strfile "$fortunes_dir/chucknorris" "$fortunes_dir/chucknorris.dat" >/dev/null
 }
-
-unset CHUCKNORRIS_PLUGIN_DIR

zsh/plugins/chucknorris/fortunes/chucknorris

@@ -228,7 +228,7 @@ Chuck Norris once punched the ground to stop an earthquake. The resulting afters
 %
 Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
 %
-Chuck Norris once rounhouse kicked a football. The astronomical society now considers it a planet.
+Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a football. The astronomical society now considers it a planet.
 %
 Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.
 %
@@ -342,7 +342,7 @@ Every time there's an earthquake, you know Chuck Norris is hungry. The earthquak
 %
 Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
 %
-Fear of spiders is arachnaphobia. Fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
+Fear of spiders is arachnophobia. Fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
 %
 Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
 %
@@ -426,7 +426,7 @@ Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag
 %
 Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
 %
-Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
+Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and possibly foot sized bruises on the face.
 %
 Taking Karate Lessons = $100, Buying MMA DVD's = $150, Subscribing to a UFC event = $50, Getting a Roundhouse Kick from Chuck Norris = PRICELESS.
 %
@@ -452,7 +452,7 @@ The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup. it's knowing that Chuck N
 %
 The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
 %
-The dictionary references Chuck Norris several times, he is metioned under Fear, Law, Order and Chucktatorship.
+The dictionary references Chuck Norris several times, he is mentioned under Fear, Law, Order and Chucktatorship.
 %
 The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
 %
@@ -468,7 +468,7 @@ The only way sharks will come near CN underwater is when CN is inside of a cage.
 %
 The only word that rhymes with orange is Chuck Norris.
 %
-The producers of the movie "The Last Airbender" are now in talks with Chuck Norris in Order to star him in their next sequal "The Last Skull Bender".
+The producers of the movie "The Last Airbender" are now in talks with Chuck Norris in Order to star him in their next sequel "The Last Skull Bender".
 %
 The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
 %
@@ -558,3 +558,11 @@ You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "God
 %
 http://chucknorrisfacts.com/ is built in Drupal because Chuck Norris knows a good CMS when he sees one.
 %
+Chuck Norris made the first Giraffe by uppercutting a horse.
+%
+Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
+%
+Chuck Norris make onions cry.
+%
+Chuck Norris doesn't shake hands, he makes them tremble.
+%